Mindset, Grief & Growth: Lesley Flanagan’s Journey

What happens when you let go of limiting beliefs, trust your intuition, and fully step into your power? Today’s guest, Lesley Flanagan, is living proof of the magic that unfolds when you do just that.

Lesley is a master hair extensionist, salon owner, and business coach, helping hairstylists attract high-end clients, refine their consultation process, and elevate their extension services. As the founder of SoExtra Coaching and co-creator of Local Luxury, she is passionate about mentoring stylists in smaller markets to break free from imposter syndrome and build a thriving business with confidence and clarity.

In this episode, we dive deep into:
✨ The power of vision boards & manifestation (Lesley put "being on a podcast" on her board right before this episode happened!)
✨ Lesley’s journey from struggling with female friendships to building a powerful community
✨ How grief shaped her mindset and drive for success
✨ Why mindset shifts aren’t always about “fixing” negatives but doubling down on the positives
✨ How she transitioned from brand-based education to independent coaching
✨ Letting go of what no longer serves you to create space for alignment
✨ The role of social media in building a successful extension business

Lesley’s story is one of resilience, clarity, and stepping into your next level with confidence. If you’ve ever felt stuck, intimidated by growth, or unsure of your next step—this episode is for you.

🔗 Connect with Lesley:
📍 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shes.sew.extra/
📍 Coaching & Education: https://lesleydflanagan.com/

🎧 Did this episode resonate with you? Tag us on Instagram and let us know your biggest takeaway!

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Transcript

Audio Only - All Participants: 0:00

Hello friends and welcome back to Stylist Whole Tribe Conversations. I am joined by my friend Leslie today. Leslie Flanagan is a master hair extensionist, salon owner, and business coach dedicated to helping hairstylists build their dream clientele with confidence and clarity. As the founder of SoExtra Coaching and co creator of Local Luxury, she empowers stylists, especially those in smaller markets, to attract high end clients, refine their consultation process, and elevate their extension services. With a background in luxury extensions and a passion for independent education, Lesley is on a mission to help Stylists break free from limiting beliefs and step into their full potential as thriving beauty entrepreneurs. What a beautiful intro, Leslie. Hello. Thanks for joining me today. it's the first time I've heard someone besides my husband say it out loud. I love it for that. so props to Leslie. She jumped in and recorded this with me super last minute. So I'm so grateful for that. turns out that day that I asked her to come on the podcast, she put me on a podcast on her vision board. So again, you guys, I'm not magic, but there's something, there's something happening with the vision boards and the people that I'm connected with. So, yeah, I needed to get an episode out in this next week and I have quite a few on the calendar for the coming up weeks, but I had nothing for this week and it was either solo episode or I sent a few messages to a few different people and Leslie was like, yes, let's do it. I just put that on my vision board. How crazy. Let's do it. we have known each other since, I guess, do you want to tell the story you were kind of just telling? Because we've met through Thrivers way back in the day. And you've been in Soul Tribe for how long now? January 2021. I looked it up. I wanted to like, have like, and I remember when I joined Soul Tribe that Lydia was probably my oldest daughter. She was probably only like a year, year and a half. And so we have known each other. I don't remember when you joined Thrivers, but it's definitely It was 2016, so we've known, kind of knew each other So then we joined the same year, because I joined Thrivers in 2016 as well. So the story that I was just sharing with you was when we went to Thrivers Live 2020. and you, I don't remember how you ended up with the microphone. I think you were wanting to I do. Okay. it was when Lori Harder was on stage and there was questions for her, and Bri knew that question was from me. And so she had me stand up and ask it. And I basically, it's when Stylist Soul Tribe was a baby idea and it was something I was starting to grow and create and I stood up and oh, I was so scared and I just kind of asked her for feedback on that. Yes, and so I remember while you were having your moment and you were sharing about creating Stylish Soul Tribe, I was on the entirely opposite side of the room, I had yet to like meet you officially in person or have a conversation with you. I think I didn't have a conversation with you, face to face until it was our onboarding call, but in all of those years, we were just kind of I remember hanging out with you in one of the bathrooms in Private Residence. Oh, yes, maybe. Off hand, but I do remember that. That might have been the second one, though. Keep going. Yeah, yeah. and I remember thinking to myself, while you were up and you were standing, and you had the microphone and you were talking to the two of them, and I remember saying that. There was going to be great things that came out of this. you're going to do great things for the industry and providing a lot to us as stylists. And so the reason why I signed up to be in Stylist Soul Tribe is connected to this as well. I have always had a difficult relationship with other women. And so I have two little girls. And when I signed up to be in Stylist Soul Tribe, I really wanted to change that because it was important to me for my girls to have good relationships with other women. It was always my intention to build them up and have good relationships with them and to really, be their friend and be there and be supportive, but sometimes it wasn't always receptive. My energy sometimes can be a lot for people. I'm very driven. I'm very passionate. And so when I point things out in order to have them improve and do better, some of them took it as an insult. And so when, I don't remember what rap, what like, what feeling or what it was, I just literally was like, something different needs to happen. And so I applied to be inside of the Soul Tribe and then I was like, floored that you had, had the conversation with me for me to be onboarded and to be a member. And then my first tribe call with my tribe. I went over and I was like, this is the reason why I wanted to be in here. And it's because like women having relationships with other women in a sense that that weren't family, because I have my family, I have my cousins, you know, my sisters and mom, my, you know, I don't have any sisters. I only have brothers. And so, like, my family's like, oh, that's just Leslie. But then anytime I tried to be friends with anybody, it always felt like, yes, you know, she's great, da da da da, and then they'd go off and they'd do something else, and I'd hear from somebody else something else. And it just, it was never positive. So, part of me when I was pregnant, really, really wanted to, this is gonna lead into some of the other things that I want to discuss today. I kind of was disappointed when I found out that I was having a girl instead of a boy, because I think that is real for some people. And so it's not, it's not directly connected to the, that I don't love Lydia. I love her very much. She's my little mini me with her curly hair and everything, but I really wanted to have a little boy that Looked and acted like my brother because, for reference, my brother passed away 15 years ago. And then, at some point within the day that I found out that it was a little girl, my husband was a static. And so he is still very thankful to have his little girls. But I realized that there was a reason why I wasn't meant to have boys. Yeah, there was some healing there to do. I'm meant to have little girls because I'm supposed to work on this thing where, I am the biggest, yay, women, women empowerment, we could do whatever, we can set our minds to, but, it needed to be something that I needed to heal. There was deeper things there, like, logically you can be there, but, like, energetically Right. And physiologically probably even you just reacted differently like as much as the concept of that when you have so many things that have scarred you in the past, I think, yeah, really, I was really certain that I was going to have a little boy. And then, my husband had the biggest smile on his face when he found out that it was girl. so, Part of that is something that I've been working on is relationships with being able to communicate with women and for a while there I was just kind of like, Oh, I intimidate them. They're just not for me. Yeah, that's so interesting to hear and I was telling Leslie this before we hit record I. Have so many calls throughout stylish old tribe that they all tend to blur together And I forget a lot of little bits and pieces But I vividly remember how I felt after your onboarding call I was also a little bit worried you laid it out like I'm a little worried I can be a lot for a lot of people so good luck trying to put me with somebody with a group There's a really good chance that this doesn't work out. And I remember just being like, oh, damn, like, is this gonna work out or is this not gonna work out? and I was like, we're gonna try it, you know? And, it's crazy that it's been four years because you've had different tribes. You've had different people around you. you've gone through so much over the last four years. It's wild to think about what all you have gone through. And even then now, just recently, the moves that you're making that I'm So incredibly grateful, because now knowing you, it's wild to me that you ever felt that way. Like, being at the retreat with you back in that trip, I don't think anybody in that room would have ever guessed that there was a moment in time in your life where you didn't feel right at home in a group of that many powerful women. I don't know. So, that trip for Thriver, I'm, I'm gonna, I'm gonna put Miss Bamford, Kim Bamford on the spot for a minute. Do it! We can tag her when you need to bring her on the podcast next to a long time since I've caught up. Yes. Yes. So she was, she was one of the first thrivers in our local area that I met. And she actually reached out to me for us to meet for coffee and to hang out. Right. So we went to that first thrivers live 2020. she was the one that roomed with me. But what's even funnier is, is I was in labor the day that tickets went on sale. Oh my goodness. And I was like, I want to go and I need to be there. There's a reason why I need to be there. I'm literally in labor with Lydia in the hospital. And she's like, what's your login? I'm going to get you your ticket. And so. she was all set for it. She was like, I'm in a room with you. Are you sure you want to do this with me? Because I was just going to do in a room by myself. I'm very particular. Most people come from a position of yes, yes, yes, yes. They'll just say yes to everybody. I'm more inclined to be like, nope, not for me. Nope, not for me. And so, the other thing that happened at that Thrivers Live 2 was like, there was a day where she had to say no to stuff. And there's a day that I had to say yes to it, no matter what. I think that that was probably the start of me repairing that, that thing with that relationship, with having friendships with women. And it had to be that I needed to find somebody that was on the same drive and the same mindset and level that I was in order for that to happen. honestly, if I hadn't connected with her, I don't think I would have got the things out of that trip that I wanted to because that's also the trip I became friends with Melanie, and that there's like a Gregory, I was at that dinner with Gregory and so like a lot of things came out of that trip and that was like the first time that like, I really was like, I showed up for something that was hairdresser related and I was not scared about what was going to come out of my mouth because I knew there wasn't going to be any judgment. Yeah, yeah. And I think getting around somebody who doesn't have expectations of you and are like healed enough themselves, because sometimes those wounds, when other people have those and you get those two together, they almost, it's not the people that are butting heads, it's almost those wounds that are butting heads, So I'm so grateful that that was your experience that you got to have that connection with her. And then I'm so grateful of all the work you've done and the, you know, the road that you've walked since then. So, we had a few different talking points to go over. I feel like mindset is such a blanket statement. Do you have anything specific on that? I mean, I know we've obviously talked about that a little bit, but like, is there anything specific when it comes to like your mindset journey that really stands out to you? I find that, my little thing when people want to talk about mindset, a lot of people forget that sometimes their mindset isn't shaped by them. Oh, majority of the time, right? Right, right. I mean, let's get pretty involved and healed, like, majority of the time not, Right, and so there are things that you can have in your mindset that are positive and there are things that you can have in your mindset that are really, really negative, but a lot of times we focus on the things that are negative. Right. We always want to change the things that are negative and we forget the good things that are positive that like the people in our lives gave us. I'm very thankful for my parents because I don't know if I Would be as okay with being direct if it wasn't for them. Do you know what I mean? as far as backstory, My parents came here as immigrants from Portugal. they came with my older brother, He was three. I'm the first one that was born here. Not only am I their only girl. But I'm also the middle child and the first one that was born here. in our culture, there's lots of expectations versus what a boy does and what a girl does. Right. my parents, I think we're very advanced in the fact that like, I was outside on the snowmobiles and the four wheelers with my brothers. My father would be the type of person that, like, he would encourage me to speak up. He would get upset when I'd speak up against him, but you know what? he built that. so he had this drive. I think that my mindset and, drive is, because of this foundation that I've gotten from them. My parents came here with nothing. Can you imagine moving to a country with your kids and not being able to speak the language? Oh, I think about that all the time. I mean, it's so remarkable, the people who come and do that and just uproot their whole entire life in hopes of something better. So I think. A little bit of their story is also my story because there's this thing where like the immigrant mentality, like, we come here so that you, we can, we do better so that you can have better so you also need to do better and some people take that the wrong way. I took it as a, okay, this is the, this is the, the level, this is the thing. That we're at, this is where I'm going to take from this. And so my dad's a really, really hard worker and he has had so many different businesses and I'm so proud of him. And I honestly think that that's where I get my entrepreneurial spirit from. And so I've also in the 20, I think I counted it yesterday, the 24 years that I've been a hairdresser, I've left our industry three times. And so then I keep coming back to it because I knew that there was something here. And I think that that, and I remember too, like one of the times that I left, I left to go get a college degree. So I have a degree in fashion and retail merchandising. And I remember signing up for college, my dad being like, you already have a perfectly good career. Yeah. Just work hard and work on that. Stick with that. Yeah. Right? And so like the entire time that I was doing my degree, I was still working as a hairdresser. but this part of me was like, yes, but you came here with nothing and you did the things. And I look, I would look at him and I'd be like, we had this kind of franchise business. We had that kind of business. You did this. You did this. You had big shoes to fill. you're telling me to do the thing that you, you know, but you did the same thing too. you ingrained it in me, yeah. and so we all work and when we try to do these things and so the conversation about mindset is always about the things that we want to train, we want to change and the reason why I wanted to talk about it is the things that are good that they give you, you need to hold on to them and you almost sometimes need to double down on them. That's how you fit change the narrative. That's how it's the everyone talks about like trying to flip the negative. Sometimes it's about ignoring the negative and like focusing on the positive zooming in on the positive. Right. So, the The whole thing of like how all of this has come to happen and like in all of, even in the years that you've known me, you've seen it go like this and like this and like, right? Sure have. And some people, when the dip is low, they stay in there for too long. the best thing to note is like, you can't fake knowledge and you can't fake skill. Loved that post, yes. So my post was, I believe that You can fake it till you make it when it comes to courage and confidence, but you can't do it with skill or knowledge. Mm hmm. Like, that's not fair to people. That's where you need to be honest. Right. So sometimes in acting like the person that you, that's where that other thing comes to, and like, acting and showing up as the person you want to be, like, that's how that works. It's that whole thing where like, you know, telling your brain a lie because it doesn't know the difference, all of a sudden it just becomes the truth. It's all included in all of that, And so That just brings back to, the whole mindset conversation of, how everything needs to be, sometimes everything in your brain, if there's, you almost need to drown out the negative instead of always trying to reframe it, because then your brain might not be able to do that, So then you just focus on the good things. Yep. And I do think we have developed a culture of, It's easy to, like, pull where you've been victimized, and I understand that, like, we all need to hold the space for that and, like, process through what we've, dealt with, but I do think that what makes people not stay in that for too long is what you just said, and I always, like, the quote I always say is expect nothing, appreciate everything, so, like, any of these unmit hit acts. What should have happened or however I should have been raised, Robert. All these people should be behaving. that's irrelevant. Just find what you can appreciate and really double down on that. I love that. I also think it's fascinating that your dad is so entrepreneurial. My dad is also a business owner. I am curious how many people in our industry, are also come from entrepreneurial background. Yeah. so. the podcast isn't about my dad, but at the same time, I really think that a lot of it comes down to that. And my mom too. in order for my dad to have businesses and be self employed, you need to have insurance, right? So my mom worked a lot of years in a factory in order to create that stability so that my dad could live and have the business that he wanted. I have, my husband, he works for our town. He's the town mechanic and so that's my husband too. My husband works his ass off, but my God, he's got good benefits. Yes. Yeah. I'm very thankful for him. I'm very thankful for the fact that he does live like work in the town that we live in too. So that it's very convenient. I do think that that needs to be said too, that in order to create and do the things that we want to do, we need to have a support system. And I really do feel for like, I mean, there's people in soul tribe that are like single moms and don't have the the luxury of that because I really do feel like I say that to Ryan all the time. I feel like we really kind of cracked the code almost like I have this business that's like very high risk high reward. Like there's really no limit to what this can grow to. It's very I mean, there's not a ton of security. It's kind of newer age, newer, but that at the same. So like that has the, the risk or the reward possibilities, but then he has the stability, the insurance, the benefits, the whatever. And I don't know if or when it would get to the point where we, where we let go of that security. but yeah, my husband does work his ass off and he works really, really hard. So shout out to Ryan as well. Shout out to all the guys. But I also do feel for the people who don't have that. as well, because I know there's a lot of people even if I can't, I'm going to be honest, I couldn't imagine totally paying their own insurance, paying their own, fully funding their own retirement and having no other security to lean on that. So, yeah, absolutely grateful for that. Okay. kind of a tougher turn of the conversation, but I think we should talk. Talk a little bit about grief. I don't know if I've heard you super in depth talk about your brother. I do see every year when you post it and it's almost like as I'm scrolling, I see your face. Like every year when I, like, I see, like, I recognize, at this point, I recognize who he is. yeah. He's, for those watching on video, he is he's not in that frame, but that is a framed comic book. it's an X Men comic book, and it's rogue, it's one of the editions. So we're big comic book nerds. The reason why there's Superman there and Superman there is for him. He was more DC, I was more Marvel for those that are into comic books. And so When I talked to Mike, my husband, the other day, I was like, should I film it in the office or should I film it at home? And his first response was, that new webcam that we got you has the best microphone than the one that's in the office, but also how cool would it be that your brother would be over your shoulder for the conversation that you're gonna have. I love that so much. So, yeah, tell me a little bit about your brother. Tell me a little bit about what experiencing grief was, for the rest of your life. And then, if you want to dive more into other Stories with that or not, because I feel like I've been in your life enough now and watched you experience it. I'm going to give the abridged version, but I do think that this needs to be said because it's a part of my story, but like, it's a much larger, bigger story. he died in a car accident 15, so of all dates, September 11th, 2010. Which is however many years after the original September 11th attacks, right? he and three other boys, his same age left that Friday night to go out drinking and we don't know if somebody ran them off the road, an animal or what, but their car went off the road and then, all of them died. What the coroner says instantly. he was 24 years old and how old were you? I was 27. I have an older brother who was seven years older than me. And then my two brothers are exactly. 10 years apart. Tomorrow, my older brother George, his birthday is February 18th. Tomorrow, February 1st, is my brother Alex's birthday. Wow. so that was the other reason, like, I was almost like, Oh, let's, we can record on Saturday. And I was just like, no, that's probably not a good, not a good day because this flows into the grief conversation. the, so yes, so they didn't find them for 48 hours. Yes. They went missing. And not only was it like it was all over the news, it was also like the day that was the worst for it to be all over the news, right? and so it was like four 24 year old boys are missing. and so news publications, news vans coming to my parents house and like, then they find them and then they can't announce names, but then people know. And then, you know, like people are talking to people. I remember standing at his wake and everybody is just like, my God. She's holding it so, so, like, so together, and I just remember being, like, I had my moment. I freaked out when I found out, and then now I'm in this position where, like, my mom, my dad, and my older brother, we're all trying to do our best because there's all these people here. Can I just say it? I feel like maybe I've said this before on the podcast. I think the way that we, I don't know if it's Americans, I don't know if it's humans, the way we go about, Death of a loved one is so fucking bizarre to me. Yes. I don't know if that was helpful or healing to you. I have honestly, I've lost all of my grandparents. I have never had like an unjust loss yet. Knock on wood. nobody my age. My parents are still alive. I, well, some friends. But not really close people. I've never had a stand in that funeral progression line. It feels so fucked up from the outside looking in that that's how we do that. I stood the entire, we went, I think it was like an hour and a half after the time of the wake. So, mind you, he passed away in 2010. They now do things differently because of COVID as far as like funeral things. But the thing that, the reason why I'm bringing it up is like, I don't know if it's strong, like what, it, I think it's tied to my drive. Right? Yeah. When that, when bad things happen, the way that I still move forward in like, I think that was the truest test of my, my mindset. you're tough shell. You almost double down in times of hard I'm going to tell you right now, I probably get for my mother. That woman is somebody who, holds it together. You know when you love her, and, when, she loves you, too, and you see her softer side. But my mom is def I'm definitely that. Like, I have this type of personality that's, like, a blend of the two, which most kids do, too. But, like, the entrepreneur side and the personality of my dad. But then the whole thing where I tend to be a little, like, individual or off. Pudding. Like when we were talking about Enneagrams on, Mel's class, like the fact that like, you knew right off the bat that mine was like, that I'm a Menchizurra and an individualist. And so, my mother's a very strong woman too. Obviously during that time, that's your child, who's not going to be, right? And so I remember thinking to myself that this is going to be very difficult for the both of us. I will have my time to do what I need to do for myself, but for right now. I need to do the things because I've been an ad all of all three of us. Growing up because they came here with nothing like I remember being eight years old and having to help translate for them and things like that. And so I had to be an adult, and I had the maturity level and the things in order to make sure that our family did the things that we need to do. So then that was just like another thing of like, I needed to be there and I need to do the things in order to make sure that everybody was okay. Right. But it's also important to note that when I needed the time for myself my husband was there for me and I had my moments. I was, I'm always been really good at like the, the faking the courage and the confidence in front. But I'm okay with like letting that down and like being in another When the time is right but you also can't let it keep you down forever. Right. And I think that's what you, I think a lot of people with grief have to, some, you know, get stuck kind of in a either long term or forever. But I think that's unfortunately the lesson that, people who have experienced such growth, such close grief have to just learn. And I think that's right. And so, like, me and my brothers, we did everything together. and I actually cut his hair that night before he went out. And so, he was always somebody that was really, really proud of what I did. He was even proud when I was taking my degree for fashion and retail merchandising. Like, he would tell everybody, like, I learned how to dress nice for my sister. Like, my sister told me how to coordinate stuff and, like, how to dress nice and all that. Like, he would tell everybody. I'm so excited for your master class. Oh, yes, yes, yes. and so, a lot of people were We're very surprised that two weeks later, I went back to work. And Looking back, are you happy with how you chose to do that, or do you think Absolutely. Yeah, that was the right way through for you. Absolutely, that I, I am okay with it, because I felt like, at the time, I was still living with my parents. I felt like that if I didn't go back to work, they wouldn't, they were putting a good face on for me, and I felt like they needed to have the time for themselves, right? And so I, I understand that in a whole different light, yeah. Yeah, and so, I went back to work and everyone's like, Oh my god, are you okay? What are you doing here? Da da da. I'm like, I can't sit in bed another day. Oh, yeah. I have to do something that feels normal, and I have to do something that is enjoyable. And so like, And then everybody, so every client, this was, mind you, like back in 2010, I would do like 14 people a day, double booking, like I had to have the conversation multiple times a day, how it happened, what really happened based on then what was on the news, and like how I was feeling, da da da da. Um, and I chose to, Folk, the days that are hard for me are the anniversary of his passing and his birthday, right? Understandably so. Uh, those are the days that I allow myself to just do whatever I want to do. And so I think the reason why I've still done the things in my career and moved forward is, I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing, but it's I like to make the joke that it's the ADHD and the object permanence where like, if it's not directly in front of me, then I forget that exists so then I can do the other things that I need to do. You can almost compartmentalize a little bit. Um, and so the reason why I chose to speak about grief a little bit is because I definitely think that it's tied to like my mindset and then also my drive. Yeah, when I think it's such a formative age to going 27 years old to lose your brother That's a bit in 27 like that is an age where you really are like I don't know your frontal cortex is developing your core values are developing Really who you are in this world is developing going through something like that. So altering I have to imagine no matter I mean you can be 127 and that's gonna still be such a Key time in your life. Um, yeah, I'm glad that you shared that. I'm glad you touched on that. I guess any, any pieces that you would say for a stylist that is navigating grief right now, um, like any takeaways that you could share? You need to do what's best for you. Um, me having the conversations with, like, so my clients would be like, I don't know why you're here. You don't have to do my hair. And so, my, the, the verbiage or the thing that I would, I would say was, No, I need to be here. And I need to have something that's normal and I need to get back to my routine. I can't lay in bed and think about it anymore. Like, I need some sense of, like, being me outside of what happened to me. Totally. Yeah, yeah. Like I need to get, be able to touch, like I need to focus on something, I need to focus on something that's positive. That goes back to that whole mindset thing of like, it's not always about like pushing and reframing the negative. Sometimes it's go doubling down on the things that are good. So I doubled down on spending time with my clients and doing the things that I needed to do. Um, And a part of me, the thing that I would always say is, is he wouldn't want me to stay in bed and rot. No, definitely not. That's the last thing he wanted from me. He was the proudest person, like, I remember when I accidentally gave him a fauxhawk before the fauxhawk was popular, but, and then the next time I cut his hair, he's like, can you do that again? And I was just like, you got mad at me. Now you want to do it on purpose? Yeah. That's so funny. Okay. Um, I, I love hearing what makes you, you, I have, like I said, over the years, just like grown, grown to love you and adore you so much. I have said it to you and I don't know if you're feeling it the same way I'm feeling it. And maybe it's just, I've been in your life long enough now, or we've had more just kind of compounded time. I feel like just recently, Leslie, you've really shifted a lot. You really have. You've stepped into coaching. Peels, I always use the vocabulary, big magic y. Um, but I feel like, honestly, even just a year ago, I don't know. I don't know if you feel this or if it's just my perspective, because maybe I'm full of it. I feel like you are very different recently. In a good way, in a very good way. What used to feel sometimes, of course we all have highs, we all have lows, but we used to feel sometimes chaotic, sometimes cleaning up a mess, uh, you know, sometimes like From a coaching perspective to you have been solid for a while where that wasn't your your way for a bit in the beginning. So what shift happened there and then feel free to share how this coaching has presented itself kind of what your vision is moving forward with that. Um, I, I know when it happens. And. It was the, so I, I, I find that a lot of like the, the things that happen are also like emotional and hormonal and as women, like we tend to feel a little bit more. And I think the reason why I tend to be somebody who like doesn't always like put myself out there or like keep my, like keep things closer or closed off is because like the showing the emotion is a lot, it was, it was a lot for me before. My brother passed away and then I felt like I was under a microscope. It was like some people were looking for guidance on how they should be dealing with it and so like I felt like I was kind of like setting the example right so it was really hard for me to be somebody. I've always been somebody where it's hard for me to cry in front of people. Um, and so then that was like probably the one. You've given your stories thus far. I think it's fair to understand that vulnerability is not The, the forefront for you. Yeah, I don't know. And so there were definitely times where I would like have my moments and things would not go the way that I wanted, especially there was, I know that there's a couple coaching calls that you're thinking of inside of your, your brain that happened a year or two ago where I definitely was doing a lot of things where like, I was just dealing with what was in front of me, but I wasn't looking at the bigger picture. Right? Yes. Um, and it's funny that you say exactly a year because I do feel it was literally the year. I feel like this time last year, something just clicked in my brain where I was just like, I'm tired of my own shit. Hmm. That's powerful. I'm just tired of my own And I don't, like, I want to, I don't think you were saying that, but it's not, I wasn't feeling tired of your shit, but I could just tell, and from a coach's perspective, it's so gratifying when, because I have always obviously seen the potential, I've been, because I feel like it used to be kind of highs and lows, and I loved when you were at the highs, but you'd hit these pits, and from a, from a coach's perspective, it's like, damn, I wish I could pull her out of that. I don't know what it's been. It's like, you don't, it's not me. It's not Soul Tribe. There's just something about people who haven't. It's almost like this like, it factor. I don't know how to describe it, but I can just tell you've been solid lately. And I love that. Um, and what I meant by the, like, I was tired of my own shit, tired of like trying to do 5 million things at the same time and putting like. huge unattainable, like things and being like, I'm going to accomplish all this in this year, but then I play to put this on my plate to breaking it down and like really doing the action steps and instead focusing on the things that were the dumpster fires that kept getting dumped in your lap instead of being like, the thing that I'm naturally good at and being like, No, that's not for me. No, that's not for me. No, that's not for me. I kept trying to find like, the the teaching the educating all of that. So I Before I became an independent educator in 2019, I had tried out for, or I should say interviewed or applied to be an educator. I think I hit five brands. Five brands and then I made it in on one of them where I'm not going to mention any of them. I made it in on one of them and it was on the inside and I was like, Oh no, this is not for me. And the reason why I choose to teach and educate independently. This falls in line with the thing that happened a year ago. is because I am somebody who's passionate and I want to teach from what's behind the chair. I couldn't share things from a brand underneath the brand umbrella that wasn't going to be something that could get me in trouble. And so then I decided that I wanted to be able to share. And encourage and educate from a perspective of like, I don't care what brand you use. You're speaking a lot to like the extension world right now, yes. Specifically, yes, yes. Um, and, but there was a time where I was trying to teach color as well. Like, I'm a massive nerd when it comes to this. But it all has worked out how it's meant to work out. Like, isn't it funny how when It's in alignment and you don't have to work so hard for it. You don't have to scratch and claw and figure it out and, and, and deep dive. It just kind of flows. And I don't know, again, I'm not living your life, but from the outside looking in, it feels like it's been flowing a lot easier for you lately, which to me tells me it's alignment. It's, it's, it's alignment, but it's also that you, have you ever seen the iceberg? Like you only see the top, and there's all that stuff on the underneath. I think the thing that happened a year ago when I say that I was tired of my own shit is, is I started working on the things that were important. I started figuring out the funnel or the focus for how I wanted to do things. So. I decided what it, what it was specifically with the girl that I, with Susie, um, who's the co founder of local luxury with me. We just, at the time we were teaching color and I in Baliage and all this other stuff. And so then, uh, we decided that we were going to go all in on hair extensions. I had taught a private one on one at least once a year. So I knew that there was a market for it, but there was just something about my inability to like, Execute that I couldn't figure out how to get it to built and it was like as soon as like I went through all of that stuff this past January and just put everything on the table was like, okay, this is the things that I absolutely have to accomplish. These are the things that if I don't accomplish it's okay but it would be nice if I get them done. I just started being really really strategic, and instead of being in a place of like, well this isn't going to happen, I started being like, well, what if it did happen, how would I feel and things like that. And so. There's plenty of things that are on the vision board for last year that didn't happen. And that's okay. But then the things that did happen and the things that made sense were the ones that were meant to happen. And the reason why the other ones didn't happen is because they weren't meant for me. Yeah. And that's okay. And it takes a lot to realize that especially someone who just like can dream up idea after idea after idea after idea ideas are a dime a dozen. Like I can see opportunity in front of you. Oh my God. And some people think they're really special when they have those, like, when there's somebody that generates ideas and not that you want to tell them they're not special because it's like, that's great. I love that you have that, but eventually you've got to do something about it or. You're just another person talking about ideas. And there is a, it feels like it's special. It feels good to talk about them, but there is not a lot of people executing. And that's what I feel you do. And whether it was lessening your load, I think you would let go of some things that you need to let go of. That's part of the conversation too, that we can have too. Um, and so. We are getting a little bit tight on time. So good. Tell me how that ties in, cause we had a hard stop in an hour, but yes, tell me how that ties in. Um, and so in the reason why I couldn't get the things that I wanted was because I wasn't willing to let go for the things to make space for it. So if I wanted to bring on coaching and I wanted to do more education, I had to realize that like obviously I can't be traveling for weddings anymore. I had to give that up. So we pulled advertising from weddings like. Just point blank. We have one wedding schedule. And when you first pulled that, you scared? Oh yes, absolutely. Because then I was like, oh shoot, like, this is a huge chunk of my business that we're like, 20% Scarcity is like, oh, there's still something here. It could be huge. It could blow up. I could do this. Seeing the opportunity everything. That was that thing. And so, it was really, it got really clear to me that I was like, I'm only one person, and now I don't have just one daughter. I have two little girls. Yeah, and a team. I mean, yeah. Right, and then I have the girls in the salon. Like, a lot of people depend on me, and so it needed to be very laser focused on the things that I needed to do. And so, it's that thing, and then, so it was the just really getting clear on the picture, but then also having the confidence, or like, even if it was fake confidence sometimes. To be like, this is, this is it. This is going to work. And then like, I'm just going to keep pushing. Yeah. I'm going to keep showing up even when it's scary. Even when I don't know if I can do this. I'm going to keep sticking with it. Right. And I kept getting, like, I kept having, it's so funny. It's connected to social media. And the reason why I say it's connected to social media is, is that nobody knew what I had to offer because I wasn't posting it. Once I stopped giving a shit and just posting, it was like someone turned on the light switch. Look at that. Yeah, that's a lot of people with that, too, that just have this fear of being seen and again, all these ideas, but that will really quietly was spread every year. And then when you're finally just like, here I am and all of my glory, take it or leave it. It's wild how Oh, wow, look at that. I mark it and some of that happened like at the retreat with us. I realized, like, I remember you being, like, worried that I was going to miss the welcome dinner and, like, I showed up the next morning after, like, my flight landed at 1 30 in Miami and the next morning I showed up and I remember just being, like, This is where I'm supposed to be. And so, I had the conversation Like, the ones that I didn't know that were, that were Stylist Soul Tribe members, they either came up to me, or I went up to them and I introduced myself, and then we were fine, and then we went upstairs, and like, we just rolled with it. I feel like that whole and so, for a little bit of clarity, Leslie did this Rich Stylist Academy coaching training. Straight to the stylus ultra retreat. And I remember when you told me that that was a ham and I was like, Oh my goodness, girl, you are biting off more than you can chew. You've already been, like, you got so much on your plate. That I really think, and I think you knew it. And that's why I was just like, yes, yes, yes, to all of it. I really think you're It was the first time in my life I said yes to everything. Yes. And I, oh, when I always say no to stuff. You knew it was right. Let's put a pin in that. And it's really fun and it's really cool to watch. So if you were to briefly Yes. How you are showing up and how you are helping people right now. And if somebody is listening to this and as you're explaining kind of who you can help and how you can help them, let us know what that is. And then obviously we'll have all your information in the show notes of this episode. so I am focusing on helping other stylists, whether they're building a hair extension clientele or they're a salon owner that wants to build out their stylists that have hair extension specifically. I do. I'm really good at giving outsider perspective and, uh, helping with people that get stuck with ideas or finding inspiration, like in our Silas Soul Tribe Marco Polo, uh, Alicia was actually stuck on something and I gave her inspiration for something and she's like, I'm going to put that through. Like, I always need a new perspective. Yep. Right. And sometimes you just need to have that one on one conversation with somebody where like, I'm stuck here. If you were in it's a little bit of like if you were in my position what we do and a little bit of trying to get the person to a clear thought and so I have multiple ways that if people want to have more education and things that are happening but the the coaching aspect of it you can find information on the website it's three the of three months you get an hour call with me. The first call is actually two hour onboarding call where we literally make you put like, or I should say I make you give me all of the details. Of your business that you're willing to share so that if I don't have a clear picture, then I can't do the thing that I do best, which is find the gap for you or connect the dots for you. High touch in depth one on one coaching. Yes. And so, we are also launching, a, me and Susie are launching to a class. We're offering it twice. If we're offering it in April and then also in May. For true or in person? In person. Okay, where at? Uh, one is here in Salem. One is at my salon. The other one is in Rochester, New York at her salon. And what we're doing is, is how to incorporate K tips into your WEFT installations. Love, love, love. I'll have that all linked in the show notes. Yes. Um, and so It's, I'm really, like, all of this alignment and all this stuff that's coming, I'm really feeling called to, to help the other stylists and to also create, help them create consistency in social media and those things. And so, um, it's something that I've always been really, really passionate, like when I remember coming home from classes and like, Oh my I learned this thing, I need to show it to you. And so this is now a way for me to give back and to mentor and to help other stylists. And I use the word mentor because a lot of times it's like, it's not always people that are younger than me. It's people that are older than me and people that are my same age. It's, there's just sharing of knowledge. Right. and it's, uh, it's a lot of, I used to say if I could bottle my drive and sell it, I'd be a millionaire. Right? And so I find that this is the closest thing to it. And I've been referring to it as it's like you get to rep my brain. Yeah, love it. Love it. You get to ask me all the things and so yes, so we'll link all the things and but If anybody has any questions they're welcome to dm me or send me a message on facebook if you have to happen your ideal person that would be uh, Getting coaching with you. Are they an established extension artist? Are they a newer extension artist? Like I know you can take anybody but dream person. I actually I think that I could help anybody at any level, but I find that the sweet spot is the ones that have already done some, some installs, or have attempted to take, to take the class, they've gotten certified, they've done a model or two, and then gotten discouraged. Initial clientele built. Yes, because everyone gets stuck on like, I got certified, I go to do it, and then like, I get no consultations now, what do I do? Or the imposter syndrome with the charging prices you've never charged. Correct. Actually sticking with these prices. Yeah, so that's kind of the stylist that looking for. I will have all of that linked in the show notes, so if you are that stylist listening, maybe that means something. I don't know, the same way Leslie put a podcast on her vision board and this happened, if this is in your eardrums right now, I don't know, maybe, maybe it's It's meant to be. So, uh, Leslie, I, as no surprise, I feel we could do five more episodes right now. Uh, I feel we could keep going and going and going and going. We didn't even touch all of our talking points, but that's fine. I told Leslie to reach out to me anytime because I'm always looking for people to podcast with. I'm always needing to batch episodes and get them out there. So, um, she may be back. We'll see. Yeah. Any final thoughts before we wrap up? Um, no, I, I'm just happy and, um, glad that I could do this for a community that I am also a part of. Heck yes, and I'm so glad too, and I'm just really proud of you for putting yourself out there the way you have been. Because you were kind of a quieter member for a while, and I think, It's a great thing we have been able to do that and I think in embracing all this new alignment, all the growth you've done, you are, you are, you have been showing up, you have been there, you have been helping, you've been giving back. So I'm very grateful for that as well because people you, that makes Soul Tribe good. So amazing, alright. Thank you friends for listening. Thank you again, Leslie, for being here. Every single thing we talked about will be linked in the show notes. Leslie is a real person. You can DM her, you can reach out to her, you will get a response. anything piqued your curiosities, left you with any questions, just reach out to her and she would love to chat. And me too. You can reach out to me too. Cool. All right. Uh, thanks again, Leslie, and thank you guys for I will talk you next week.