002 - The Power of Mentorship with Britt Seva

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In this heartfelt episode, I sit down with Britt Seva, the founder of Thrivers Society, to dive into the transformative power of mentorship, work-life balance, and the evolving landscape of the beauty industry. Britt shares her incredible journey from the salon to the stage, revealing the highs, lows, and the in-betweens of being a thriving stylist and entrepreneur.

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🌟 Episode Highlights:

The impact of mentorship in both our lives
The balance between personal life and a booming business
The state of digital education in the beauty industry
The invaluable lessons learned from life's challenges
And much more!

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Until next time, keep crafting a life and business you're proud of!

Connect with Lisa Huff

lisa: 0:00

Welcome to Stylist Soul Tribe Conversations. I'm your host, Lisa Huff. Over the last five years, I've coached hundreds of hairstylists and beauty industry professionals, helping them work their dream schedules exclusively with their dream clientele, and earn their dream income. income, all while fostering genuine connections and lifelong friendships inside the beauty industry. And this podcast, we dive deep into abundance, manifestation, business building strategies, and creating a life that you are truly proud of both behind the chair and at home. Are you ready to embark on a journey of personal growth, success, and sisterhood, then hit that subscribe button now and get ready to experience the pure magic of Silas Old Tribe Conversations.

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Hi friends and welcome back to Stylist Soul Tribe Conversations. This is my second episode after my introduction episode and I just have to say that this feels like a true full circle moment for me. Today's guest is founder and CEO of The Thriving Stylist, an online education platform that has served over 10, 000 stylists from around the world. The host of The Thriving Stylist podcast, which stays the number one podcast in our industry with over 4 million downloads. My dear friend that I have had the privilege to watch grow to this level over the last seven years, a woman with a lofty goal of helping one million stylists earn six figures a year, and my greatest mentor to date who has truly helped shape me into the human that I am today, the queen herself, Brit Siva. Hello, friend. And you're going to make me cry before we even start. I know, right off the bat. I just so sweet. And I, I'm just so proud of you. I mean, I, I told you this, I told you this a hundred times over, but I'm just so proud of you. This is so full circle for me too. And I think, correct me if I'm wrong, were you my first ever podcast guest? That was my next talking point. So episode three, I believe it was January of 2018. I was the first guest podcast, uh, interview on your podcast and really what a ride it's been since that. So when I, I've had in the back of my head since the beginning of time, you know, that I wanted to do a podcast one day and all these things. Yeah. You know, impact. I'd like to make and all these things I'd like to do. And I mean, you've always kind of been cheering that on, but it feels when I really started finally putting things into place. I'm like, okay, I think like 2023 going into 2024. It's finally time. Um, It was a no brainer to to see if you would come on and to have this conversation and even yesterday prepping for this. So I just got back from a mastermind event. So I've been going nonstop this last week. I went to Nashville with Stu McLaren and we haven't talked. We haven't caught up you and I in a long time. But about a year ago, we talked a bit about that. And that has been the journey I've been taking over the last year. But I've been going nonstop. And yesterday my daughter woke up sick and we She had strep throat. So, uh, it was like a surprise, great day for me to cancel all my clients and just get to take a minute to rest and sit. So I actually spent my entire day yesterday scrolling back through our DMs all the way back to 2016. I'm like, okay, I'm going to be chatting with Brit. Like I really want to make this super duper special. Um, so I, it's like fresh in my brain, the walk down memory lane, the journey that we've had. So I just feel like it's appropriate today to dive into. the power of mentorship. So that's, that's my plan. Does that sound good? I love that. And I'm actually very jealous. I was like, I want to take the trip down memory lane. So after we do this episode, I'm going to have to go back and go through our journey. I mean, there's a lot. So I really, I mean, I didn't read everything, but I really saved some highlights of things that really stood out to me that I want to share and expand upon and just kind of use those as conversation starters. Um, so yeah, that's kind of my plan. So we take it back to 2016. I guess I'm going to tell it from my story, and maybe even if we could bounce back and forth and kind of hear your perspective as well, because sure, not everybody who listens to this podcast is going to know you, but if you don't know Brit, go find her, do your own research. Most of the people who are listening to this are going to know you, so I, um, don't take this opportunity to just sit and chat with you for, you know, an hour lightly. Um, so I'd like to really go deeper than what we've, we see from Brit on, on the surface already. So yeah, back in 2016 is when I found Brit. Um, I was working at a smart style inside of Walmart in the small town of Lincoln, Illinois. Um, my husband and I had just been like moving around for his job and we finally decided to move to this random small town cause that's where his mom was living. Um. And I was like, okay, I got a job at a salon that was the only place that would hire me because there was no, uh, you know, every other name brand salon was like, do you have a clientele? Who are you? Blah, blah, blah. And there was none of that. So that was the only salon that would hire me. And it was like back in the Periscope days, back in the early Instagram days, and Ruby Divine is actually who pointed me in your direction. So random, right? Okay. I love Ruby and I don't know how I didn't know that. I love her. She and I were very close in the Periscope days and have kept in touch like over the years. I didn't know she pointed you my direction. Yeah. So I think I sent her an Instagram DM again. This was like the early days of Instagram where like nobody knew what we were doing. It was a very different, it was like all those like heavy filter, you know, very clunky format. And she was a big name on Instagram at the time and I sent her a DM and I was like, Hi, my name's Lisa. I have been a stylist for five years. I want to open a salon in five years. Uh, can you like give me any guidance? And she's like, well, I can't, but here's somebody who maybe can. So that's how I first connected with you in 2016. So I guess. For me to not take up this whole entire, uh, conversation, I guess I'd love to jump you back to 2016 and your days and like your perspective of that time and what was happening in your world at that time. Oh, I love this. Okay, so 2016 for me, so Thrivers, um, was probably celebrating its one year anniversary. But that's almost like, it's almost not even fair to say, because the Thrivers of 2015 was like a baby. It was like this little It was like you were pregnant with Thrivers at that time. Yeah! So when you joined in 2016, you're a part of what we like all lovingly refer to as like the OG crew. There was this incredible group of humans who trusted me and the vision and the concepts like in the early, early days where to what you're saying, like We, nobody knew what they were doing on Instagram. Nobody knew what we were doing in digital education. There was no podcasting, like people who weren't there. It's almost hard to conceptualize because it was such a different world. Like you can't, it will never be back again. It was such a special time. And you were a part of that era for me. And so this kind of, as, as drivers was born and there was this incredible OG crew that was there. Um, You were one of the people who stood out to me from the start. And I think one of the things that I'm good at is seeing potential opportunity, untapped potential, like, and also the people who have the drive and the motivation and the people who will actually, like, I talk about dreamers who do, you're such a dreamer who does. And from the start, I was like, there's something special about this, Lisa. Like you, you just from the start had this spark about you. I think it was like a genuine curiosity more than just like a lot of people have a really good work ethic. And I genuinely think most people aren't lazy. Like, I think that's a lie when people say like, well, most people in this industry are lazy. I don't think that's it. They're just not excited by what they're doing. Yeah. They're not. And I think the other thing for you was from the start, you were very interested in building relationships, not, and it wasn't just with me, it was with everybody, which always has been a very appealing thing to me, like when I can see somebody who, really wants to uplift others. It's extremely appealing to me. And there was just this sparkle about you from the start where I was like, this woman is going somewhere. And I think, you know, this, like I attached to you early because I just felt like she, you were somebody special. I knew it from the start. Okay. So I want to, this is what I mean when I go, when I want to go deep. Cause these are questions I haven't been able to ask you before. There has been things and I've explained this to you in the DMs countless times, it's hard for me to, like, even put it into words without sounding, like, borderline creepy. You genuinely, Brett, I don't know if it was the age I found you at, I don't know what it was, but I'm telling you, like, I guess, who knows, in another life, if that, if our worlds didn't collide, maybe I would've turned into a version of what I am today, but, like, my mind did not know that the things that you believed in were possible, and I'm not just talking about business, I'm talking about, like, Possibility, abundance, um, wealthy life in all the ways you mean it, not money, like, I didn't, that was never even something that I could ever conceptualize or was introduced to me, literally ever, until you crossed into my life, and, uh, I have down later in my talking points, I want to talk about Woo Woo Sunday, like, it was a different time, I know it was a different time, but it is so, like, dear to me, that time, and what you shared during that time, and I, hearing you say that I stood out in you, you know, clung to me and connected to me. That's interesting to hear you say, because I'm sure there was other people too. Obviously, it's not everyone, but you would say these little things like, Lisa, your star's on the rise, or you're, you're going to do big, big things, or great things are in store for you. And truly, Britt, like, nobody in my life had ever told me that before. Not my parents, not teachers in school, not coaches, like, that had never been told to me ever before. So, I want, I think that maybe part of it is how much that meant to me and how I want to help be that for other people because I saw how big of a difference that can make in somebody's life. So, what gave you that? Because you were, I mean, fairly young even back then too. Like, who did that for you? What even pulled you into being that for people? Uh, first of all, that's incredibly humbling. And when I think about, like, you know how, you've probably heard me say, I coached to the North star, right? This idea of like the North star and people are like, Oh, it's your purpose. And I'm like, well, kind of, it's like a little bit different than that. And it's like the work you're supposed to do. And I always say my North star is not coached stylist and salon owners. Like it's just not that simple. And for me, like I'm just having such a moment because when you describe like the impact that I've had, which I didn't, I didn't know that that is what I do this for because. I really, as a young woman myself, I so empathize and relate when you say, nobody did that for me because I felt the same way. And like, I, I share a little bit vulnerably, but I think, you know, more than most, like I didn't grow up with parents who were like, you're amazing. You can do it. Like I grew up with my mom who thought I should marry for money and that I was basically a moron. And yeah. And so. to have. And, and listen, I was, um, a teen parent, which comes with its own bag of judgment and criticism. And the people I went to high school with were like, she's not going to make anything of herself. And so it's like the cards being so stacked against me and everybody thinking that my worth was so minimal and then compound with, Oh, and of course she's going to go to cosmetology school. It was like, All the narratives. And I think I deeply related to you in that, again, on whatever, you know, energetic plane that connected us. It was just, I saw in you what I had in myself. And when you say, you know, who, who did that for you? There's a couple people who really stand out to me. There was this woman, her name is Debra Herzog and I've written to her a couple of times in more recent years. She was my boss when I worked at the Ritz Carlton in Huffman Bay. Um, there was, I had a couple of different roles there. One of them was in sales and marketing and She really took a chance on me, allowing me to work with her. She was the director of catering sales. She brought me in to support her with weddings and special events. I was, I think, 20. Like I was this kid. I had no resume, no experience, and she saw something in me and gave me a chance. And she was like, at that time, I remember she took me to, I think it was Macy's, and like showed me how to dress professionally and like would pour into me in like such a How old were you then? I think I had to have been 20 because I was in cosmetology school. Yeah. It would have had to have been the early 2000s, 19, 20. Yeah. I had my daughter already, but she was a baby baby when I was working there. So I'm trying to put the timeline together. And again, I don't know what it was she saw in me, but it was something. And it, it was the first time I could remember like Somebody having a deep belief that I could be incredible and man, if that woman didn't champion for me, she's fought for every opportunity. She told me to apply for things. She wanted me to, you know, get to positions where I'd even have to leave her. She just wanted me to do well. And it's so rare to find people who will champion hard for you like that. And so now years have gone on. We kind of lost track over the years. It was probably three or four years ago. I sent her this really heartfelt letter and I think I sent her flowers or something else. And I just said, like, I need you to know how big of an impact that made. Yeah. Um, I wouldn't be the person I am without her. And I think to what you're saying, it's like, I don't know how exactly we find those people, but continuing to put yourself in places and opportunities where you can meet incredible humans who can impart these gifts on you that you may not even appreciate in the moment, but that will make this incredible impact on the person you become. Yeah. It truly is like life's greatest gift. It really is. And I, I think that's one thing I've, I learned with going so all in with you for such a long period of time. Um, and I think that's important. I think that's something that stylists, humans, maybe don't. always get. They kind of scratch the surface with a million different people, and maybe that's what other people's journey should be, I don't know, but I have found such great value in finding someone that really, really, really, really felt aligned in going. All in on that person, um, for as long until it sees it, you know, it runs its course and that's kind of, uh, you know, you've learned what you can from that mentor at that point. So, um, I guess, keeping with my timeline, how I was kind of running through, uh, our DMs and I got to 2017. There was a DM from you saying, like, why didn't you buy a ticket to the retreat? Like, where, where are you? So, uh, Lisa, you're supposed to be there and that, uh, I have an end quote you said. The retreat will change your life. I know that's a big statement, but I'm for real. And so then 2018 brought us to, um, when I went to your second retreat, um, and obviously that had a huge impact on me, and it's now kind of become like a slight running joke that we've kind of talked about. That retreat, I mean, there was, incredible, incredible, incredible moments. Um, but we had a big hiccup at the retreat. I got robbed. Huge hiccup. Like I questioned my whole life that weekend. And that's the bad thing people realize. I was like, this is a disaster. Like you, I don't even know how you got home. Like when Lisa said she got robbed, like our entire event space got broken into on like pre night one. Like we had. Started and I don't know how many purses got stolen, IDs lost, like nightmare scenario. It was a nightmare scenario, but I have to tell you, but even in those moments where there's no way you could have orchestrated to teach me those lessons intentionally, it had to be that way. But watching you stumble through those events and through those hard times has been So impactful for me because now I run retreats and I, you know, mentor people watching. I mean, that's one that stands out to me and everything ended up fine. And what did change my life in the best way? And that was material shit that didn't matter. I ended up getting majority of it back. It didn't matter, but watching you navigate that, I mean, that had been so stressful. And now when I've had moments like I've, I had my last retreat, I'll talk about it on here. Um, we hired a. Private Chef, very high name, Private Chef, Blackhawk's Private Chef. I mean, we did the works because we wanted to make sure everybody was taken care of. There was an allergy that went missed and someone ended up in the ER. Uh, and I thought to you in those moments though, like I needed to see that bad of things go on and see how somebody handles that because I don't know what I would have done had I not had those things to turn to. I would have fallen on the floor. I'm like. The retreat is shut down. We're not moving forward. So it's been really cool, um, to watch that. And so I guess I'd love to hear your perspective on that side of it. I love that we're talking about this because, you know, you and I, and probably any business coach always says like Instagram is the highlight reel. Like that's not, that's not the. the like nuts of it all. And it's so true. And I had this, we, the reason why we stopped doing the retreats is I had this theory. I was like, these are cursed because you were, were you the second retreat? I was the second one. Okay. So we did a total of four. The first Three, there was a disaster every single time. And then the fourth was flawless, as it does. And of course, at the fourth, I had already decided I'm never doing this never do this again. Yes! So, CT was there with me, and she was like, I was like, I think we might do it. And she was like, No! You made a commitment. This is not for you. And the universe was pushing me a different direction. So, the very first one, Anybody who was there, this was like Mama Heather, this is Cable and Lozano. So we showed up and we did it at this giant Airbnb, it was just north of San Francisco, beautiful location. And we show up and a couple of the beds, no joke, are mattresses on top of I've heard that story. Oh my God, mortified. Like when I say mortified, I can't even describe to you. And then on top of that, there's not even enough beds for everybody. So I've got, I'm supposed to stay there with everyone. I've got to find a hotel last minute. CT and I are like doubled up in a queen bed together. A totally nightmare. Um, poor Heather almost drove off a cliff trying to get to the venue. Just a complete, complete disaster. She's sleeping in like a loft at the top of weird stairs. Whole. That was so strange, but it ended up being. It's wonderful. Like we bonded through it. It was almost, and I'm telling you, you talk about some of these OG people and it really, I'm sure, I'm sure it was the worst thing in the world for you. Oh my God. It was so cool for us to watch you be a human through that, to now see what you've created and the empire that you're sitting on. I'm very grateful that I got to be one of those messy experiments. It's been really, really, really cool. Okay. I don't know about the third one. Do you want to get into what happened to the third one? So we can, I will dance on it lightly because I want to be respectful. But so, so then we, so we do this Airbnb thing and I was like, well, we'll never do that again. And I had this idea that it was going to be like this really great bonding moment, which it was, but I was like, no, let's elevate. So then we went to the hotel, you came to that event. It was a cool property, but being robbed on night one wasn't ideal. So then it was like, okay, that's a disaster. So then we came back to San Francisco and we did like a fairly upscale big city salon. It was like perfect, very controlled environment, very predictable. And, um, we also had a medical issue where somebody had taken a Controlled or non controlled substance unexpectedly and it's and it was in that moment I ended up going home from that retreat and getting shingles Which I don't think I ever publicly talked about and strangle the shingles can be stress induced So I don't realize I didn't realize how that happens. But so I go through this incident. I was like this is This is so far beyond the scope of what I ever thought I would be managing. Like, I felt like I had somebody's life in my hand at that moment. And I didn't feel qualified to handle something like that. So we navigate the experience. Um, ends up being a good weekend. I go home and I, I have what I think are bug bites. And it turns out I ended up breaking out in a really bad shingles reaction. And I was down for three weeks, but again, also having to run a business and pretending like everything's fine. And, and I'm glad that you're bringing this up because I think if anybody is. You know, whether you're an educator, whether you're still in the salon and you're having messy beginnings or things aren't going well, that is so normal. Nobody talks about it, but that's what it looks and feels like as you're growing and you're pioneering and you're doing things that you've never done before. It's messy and it's, you know, unpredictable and you just keep going. When you say you just keep going, like, again, I want to go even deeper on that because I've heard that, like, In those actual moments where, I mean, it seems like those almost got progressively worse, Althea, no wonder you said they were cursed. How, in those moments, and I know you've had a million moments before and after that, where you could just say, like, okay, that's enough, like, I'm, I'm done with this, like, how do you keep pushing, what is that in you? I even came across a DM when I was going down memory lane where I just asked you like about struggling with self doubt and you've always just had this like the deepest of deepest of deep knowings. Tell me more about what that is in you. I'm going to do my best, but it's truly like when you say a knowing it's a knowing, like even like this moment today that we just had 10 minutes ago was so affirming for me. Like when you come in and say like you said things to me, nobody's ever said before. I don't know if anybody saw, but like I had to like look down and close my eyes for a saw that. And I was like, See, you have to keep doing this like it's moments like that where I'm like, it's just the work. Those are just the anchors. Yeah. And I, I might never do that for a thousand people, but if I do it for 20, okay. Like at the end of my life, I can feel really, really good about that. And so for me, I think that it's just very important for me to, I live for the impact. I really, really do. Like I live for when people say, Okay. I didn't know this was possible for me. I'm doing things I never even realized existed. It just makes me feel like I'm living a life well lived. I don't know how else to explain. There's nothing like it. Yeah. Once you get a taste of that, it's like, no matter how hard things get, it's those little itty bitty moments that you just, you could not replicate that with vacations, with anything, like nothing feels the way like. That's how that feels. That's right. And I think that like, even to simplify it, like if you're a stylist or a salon owner, who's listening to this, I think there's this narrative in the industry of like, that's not enough. Like, but, but then what are you going to do? And it's like, man, I share this story, but like the stylist I've had in my life have made such a tremendous impact on me. Like I had my childhood stylist who passed away and still to this day was the largest funeral I'd ever attended because she's so beloved. Um, the stylist I saw after her, who ended up being the reason why. I got into cosmetology school. We're still in touch to this day. And she sees what I'm doing. And she's like, you just make me so proud. And it's like, had she not been my stylist, I wouldn't be here. And it's like, we don't realize the impact you have when somebody's coming in to see you three, four times a year, you're intimately touching them. You're making them feel more confident. You will never be forgotten. Like, I think that we underestimate our impact. All the time and taking that moment to realize just like what an incredible human being you are choosing an industry like this, choosing to really help people is such a beautiful gift and blessing to your community. Like it's so much more than enough. Yeah, it's so meaningful. That's, that's so, so, so true. I love that so much. Um, okay, so then I was scrolling. This is fun that this has become like a timeline. I got to 2018, and 2018 is when I first very messy started Stylist Soul Tribe, which has been cranking. We're about to celebrate five years, uh, and yeah, thank you so much, Brit. And I didn't realize quite How much? I'm not sure if you remember this or not. Time is weird like that. You supported me so much through that time. Like, I was looking back on our DMs. I was DMing you so much and you were taking the time and you were pouring into me and I, before it was Soul Tribe, I didn't know what it was. I was trying to put out YouTube videos. I was trying to do blogs. I remember. I was trying I would send you contracts that brands would send me. You're like, no, no, no, don't say yes. to that. Like, you were, I know you do not have the capacity to do that for people now, so I hope everybody understands that. But I just want to take a moment to thank you for that, because my goodness, I forgot how much you were, like, in my corner during that time. But And Soul Trap is a baby idea. I was trying to figure it out, and I have a quote from you. You said, You just have to keep trying and see what sticks. Provide value over and over and over. Give away tips and knowledge and unbelievable value so that you're seen as a killer resource and the rest will come in time. Free value brings the following and then the business develops based on demand. And like, don't we all just need to hear that in some way, shape, or form? And so, one, I want to say thank you for those words that you provided me then. Um, and, and just take a moment to like highlight that specifically and, and how important that was in those early years of me bringing this baby to life. Oh my gosh. And so it's so funny. Like time is funny. And if it starts to become a blur, but as you read things, these things back, it like brings me back to that place in time of sitting there and being like, she can't do this. Let me just like give that little nudge, give like a little refinement. There's one thing I want to correct though. Like, even as you say. She doesn't have the capacity to do it now. Please don't everybody send me all your contracts. Like if somebody sends me something and I'm not, I don't always catch every PM, but if somebody sends me something and I can tell they really need help and I catch it and you feel called, yeah, absolutely. Stop and look through and see what I can support. And it's. You know, hit or miss at this point without a doubt, but I still, to what we were saying before, because I live for the impact, that is the work. It's like those little moments. You never want to lose those. Nope. It's like, that's what fuels my fire so much that I have to keep that going. But to what you were saying, that is so the key and the crux. To this whole game that all of us are playing, like provide value, help people and the rest will come together. And you know how, like when you hear that advice early, you're like, what? Like, what do you mean the rest will come together? Like what are you talking about? Because it's so obscure, but now you five years later, it's like, Oh look, the rest came together. Yeah, and it was messy and it's changed a million times, but all I just kept thinking is how can I help the one person in front of me? And then how can I help the one person in front of me again? Um, and, and it does, it does trickle in have value. And that's the thing is we want the answers so early. You wouldn't even know what to do with that information if you go. That's right. Like, you need to learn these lessons and build stepping stone by stepping stone by stepping stone, or there's no, if you were just given this glimpse, like, it would be irrelevant to you because you haven't learned all the lessons you need to learn. So, that's, that was one that really stood out to me. Okay, the next one that stood out to me, um, and it is so funny that you just brought this back up to me a few weeks ago, um, I was at the 2020, uh, Thrivers Live, did 2021 virtual, it was incredible, did 2022 in person, and you sent me a video a few weeks ago, you said there was a moment when you were on stage, and I messaged you, and I said, you're different. From 2020 to 2022, I said, you're different. What I was referring to one energetically, but even just like the security, like things were just different from 2020 to 2022. I know a lot of things happened in your life in that span of time. We can go whatever way you wanna go with that, but tell me more about like what that period of time was like for you and maybe even if there's been other, and, and you wrote back to me, you said, um, I'm not the same person I was two years ago, Lisa. Like, I'm I'm, I am different. Tell me, I guess about that time and if there's been other big. milestones like that where you've really shifted as a person. I'd love to hear all of them. Okay, first of all, correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like you were hesitant to come to Thrivers Live 2020. I think that was another incident where I, I may have even messaged you or I saw on the Facebook group. I remember this so crystal clear. Don't tell me why I fixate on you. Again, maybe I'm your creep. I mean, I love you. I remember being like. Oh, Lisa's not coming and feeling like funny about it. But, but also respecting the fact that like, I'm such a believer in we are exactly where we need to be when we need to be there. And I was like, okay, it's just not for her. Like it's not her space. I didn't, I did. Well, you know what it might've been is I didn't join the first round of elite, which didn't give me the like instant access to 2020, or maybe it was something like that. I just want a regular ticket to 2020. I don't know. I just probably didn't have the time, truthfully. Okay, no, that's fair. I was gonna say, do you remember at that point in time, like, what put you on the fence? I'm just curious because all of us get on the fence, and maybe you weren't on the fence, maybe it wasn't a financial thing, but like, all of us get on the fence at any given time. I wondered if you remembered what put you on the fence. No, I don't remember that the same way you do. But it's so great to hear you say that because now I have my own community, and there are certain people that you're like, that If I know someone's going to be there, it's going to be them. And when they don't, you have to take a moment to process. Is this deeper than I think it is? Is it not like you go through a little bit of a crisis? So it's really interesting to hear you say that, but it's funny that I don't remember that from my perspective at all. Is it perspective such a trip? Like, I'm glad that we had this moment because I think that we all do this all the time and I'm like, Oh, Lisa hates. me. But we do this, like weird blip will happen. There was a stylist too. I don't want to get too off track. I woke her back around, you know, I do this. Um, there was a stylist who I missed a DM for, like, I totally missed it. It just happens sometimes. And she months later messaged me and she was like, I needed you. It was my time of need and you weren't there. And I really took it personally. And she's like, now that time has passed, I realized. I had put this very unfair expectation on you. And my response was, if, had I known you needed me, I actually would have been there. I simply missed it. But we do that. And like all of us do that as humans all the time in business and in life and in everything is we make up these narratives. Completely different paths and stories and everybody's brain. Yeah. So different. And what's funny is going back to 2020, Lori Harder was a speaker. And at the time, I, I knew you loved Lori. And so when I got her, like, I literally was like, Lisa's gonna love this. I was like, I brought you a gift, Lisa. But again, that's like the narrative that you funny. These are the things we've never unpacked together, but it's true. And so I had this story about myself of like, I have served up Lori Harder on a silver platter for Lisa and she's not even going to be there. So really glad you made it. Love. I'm so glad I made it too. So back to tell me why you were so different from 2020 to 2022. I think life is really funny like that. Like I was listening back to, um, even a podcast I did. It would have had to have been, I think I released it in 20, 2018 or something. And I was listening to my voice and like, you could hear how soft I was, how lacking confidence I was. I wanted to tiptoe. I was like, I am not that woman anymore. Like even hearing my voice back in 2018 would have been five years ago. And I was like, wow, I don't even recognize myself. In those messages I'm sharing. It was very interesting. Like go back and watch your old stuff and see what journey that takes you on. It's a trip. Um, but between 2020 and 2022, I, we all experienced so much life. All of us did. Myself included. And I think I had the same journey that probably everybody listening to this did is like I really had to take a look at myself and the decisions I had made and the people I surrounded myself with and what I was choosing to prioritize. And, um, I realized for me that I had become, I don't, I'm going to say caught up, but I don't know. That's what it was. I think I was on this like jet train and I was just taking it to whatever the destination was going to be, but I didn't know. And I actually liked the like unknown part of it. And it just felt good. I was like, yeah, they're going well, people seem to be liking whatever's happening. And I never stopped to say like, But what do you like? Like, is this what you want to be doing? Is this your family? Is this, um, really where you want to be? And between 2020 and 2022, I realized, no, that I was making a lot of these really big sacrifices. Yeah. Yeah, that, that felt good and almost gave me like an endorphin rush. Like a thrill. Oh, such a thrill. That's the perfect word. Such a thrill. But I had like lost myself in the process. So it wasn't like, um, it wasn't like the, it, I don't even know how to describe it. It was, I truly like when I say I lost myself, I really did lose myself. And so one of the things I've talked about publicly is the passing of my best friend, which best friend is like not even a big enough word. It was like my sister. She's The only family that I had because I'm not close to my parents. I'm not, I don't have siblings. I'm close to like, she still to this day is the person who had known me the longest in my life. And in a heartbeat, she was gone. And I looked at what she left behind and I realized like, man, if, if that was me and I was gone tomorrow, would I be happy with the decisions I'd been making? And the truth was no. Yeah, I would have been really disappointed in myself. There would have been a thrill, is this safe to say, in like how much you've impacted, obviously, in a greater realm, stylists, things like that. Of course. But your babies, when you look them in the face, and your husband, like that's a different feeling. It is, and the tough thing is, like, people will never fully understand that, and I had to be okay with it. Like, in making this choice to Be a good mom and be a good wife. And literally like figure out, I, I want to say like, figure out how to be a friend again. I had become such a terrible friend to most of my friends because I was. I was caught up in Thrivers and caught up in traveling. I was caught up. Like I really was. Like I had created this like secondary world. Like I do kind of live two lives. I'm Brit and I'm Britney and Britney was getting extremely ignored in favor of Brit. And I had to really figure out like, and that balance, find that balance. Like I didn't do this to. Be on the road all the time and, and be an absentee mom. That was not the vision. And I really had to reconnect to that and be okay with the fact that not everyone's going to get it and not everyone's going to understand. And some people are going to say, she's not what she used to be. And the truth is I'm not, I'm going to prioritize the whole human that I am and not just. I want to serve myself as deeply as I serve others. And like, you're only one person. Yeah. You could only be intimately in so many people's lives being one human body. Yeah. Right. So no much, no matter how badly I want the impact and I live for the impact, like we talked about at the beginning, I needed to, to be okay. Like impacting my son and my daughter and my husband and having that be enough. And that's so much of the journey I've been on these last few years is like. Being content just being awesome as Britney, even if Brit softens a little bit, and I am okay with it, and I know that, you know, it's probably tangible, and not everyone's okay with it, and that's okay for me. And, and, and, but I, I'm really, really, really grateful that you're going there, here, because I think if anybody heard that, Side of it. I don't think there would be any human that wouldn't be okay with that, you know, but people just see glimpses and pieces and they make their own stories like we said, so that's actually perfect trajectory into after Thrivers Live 2022. Jamie Kern Lima talked about, like, hiding in plain sight. Me and you had a little DM exchange about that, and you said that things have been, your husband and your kids saw you in that way for the first time, and you're like, no more hiding in plain sight. This is now a thing, and we gotta kinda navigate that. What has that looked like for the last year? I know you've obviously, I mean, I shouldn't say calm down. You have intentionally and Thrivers looks different than it did. But like, what has that last year looked like for you? Um, it's, it's been beautiful. Like I've really, like in my personal life side of things, I've had such a good last year because of that transparency. Like you said, so if you weren't at Thrivers Live 2022, my husband, daughter, her boyfriend, who's very much a part of our family, he's a barber. So even for him, it was felt very like in line to be there. And then my son who at the time, I think he was. Seven or eight is nine now would have been seven. Um, was sitting there watching and like I shared a story about my son Had no idea what what I did or who I was and to some degree still doesn't but I like it that way but it was like All he knew as I was this mom who truly, truly was not present. I was never at home with my kids. I was gone all the time. And so I think for him, for my daughter, especially for my husband to see a room full of people where it's like, The work I do does matter and I just got full body chills when you said that. Yeah. Yeah. It made it tangible for the very first time ever. And so like, it's the little things like, I don't even know that they realize how they've changed on the flip side of that, but there's so much more empathy for me. There used to be a lot of resentment. Like if I went away to travel, Oh, I would pay the price when I got home. Everyone would be mad at me. It's like, man, if y'all knew what was actually happening and it wasn't that they didn't love my business. But it's hard to understand y'all like. We're so deep in it that we don't understand how we're being perceived from the outside. And even like, I talk to stylists and salon owners who will say like, my husband doesn't support my business. And sometimes I want to be like, but does he get it? Sometimes those in our, like, closest circle just don't get it, and the more we can pull back the curtain and have really open conversations, the better those relationships become. It's, it's hard. Like, I talked to you before this podcast started, and you said, what are your boundaries? And I had boundaries around my family, and, you know, I'm still navigating it, for sure, but I'm learning to figure out how Brit and Brittany's worlds connect. I'm still figuring that out. Oh, that's so true, and I, I totally, um, I feel like, thanks to, To you, I've learned really good balance, but I still, I mean, like I said, I was just gone over this last week, and so it's so fascinating to hear you say that that was kind of your world that you came back to, because I think so many of us experience that, and then also on these, like, personal growth journeys, I also think sometimes it's not fair, like, to the husbands, when we get this, like, fire under us, and we just switch, and, like, We're on this like mission and we have this like nobody's understands that the same way we do and I don't think that gets talked about enough and thankfully you guys have made it through that. Thankfully me and Ryan are making it through that, but there was in the beginning where he was just like he would look at me and just be like, what are you talking about? Right. What is this? Right. There was, I mean, for us, I think that he would even say it. I don't think jealousy is the right word, but like envy maybe that like I have found something. Oh my gosh, that de purposed. I loved, like, I love working and so few people understand that. And so you do, you look weird. Like people don't know how to index that because it's so foreign. And so there can be resentment and definitely misunderstanding. And you're right. That's like another piece. That people, nobody wants, that's not fun to talk about. So nobody's talking about that, but it's so true. And it, and it has to be, you have to hear that or else every, it's not, your life's not going to feel good. That could not work out. You know, you have to find that balance and it's really, really, um, amazing to hear you talk about that. Cause you just, you don't go there a lot. Um, okay. That was kind of my, like my walk down memory lane. I guess what I'd love to know now is I've been kind of out of the thrivers loop for a little bit. Obviously I keep an eye on what you're doing, but what is. happening in the Thrivers world right now? I know you've been doing the Thrivers Live Tour or Thriving Stylist Tour, tried to snag a Chicago ticket, didn't get it. That's okay. If one's for sale, let me know. What else is happening in your world right now, Brett? I'm trying to find ways to kind of, it's interesting because Thrivers has, It's taken on a life of its own. And like I always say, I could not have said, okay, I started coaching in 2012, Thrivers was established in 2015. I couldn't have said in 2015 or 2012, and this is where I want to be in 2023. No way. No way. No possible way. Nope. Couldn't have planned for it. Couldn't applaud it out. So I'm very much going with the flow and seeing what, what the industry needs. Digital education has changed a lot in the last couple of years, particularly in the last 18 months. I'm going to say there's a real shift happening and I'm going with the flow on that and trying to understand not just what stylists and salon owners want, but how I can best serve. Mm hmm. And I'm really trying to reconnect with that. For me, you know, I didn't do a Thrivers Live 2023. Mm TBD. I'm feeling more impactful in a small room at this moment. I understand that, yeah. You know that feeling, like that's what you like too. Can I point something out to you? I also had DMs that I wasn't gonna share just because it didn't seem relevant. But I also this is going to transport you back in time. There was a time that a coach that you worked with did like a feature on you and I saw it and I was like, I sent you a message. I was like, oh my God. I love that feature. Like I'm so inspired by you blah blah blah. And then I even sent you a screenshot that I sent it to my sister and she's like God, she's so normal and then you were like, that's. That's the truth. I am normal. And you said something in a message and you said, Lisa, I don't want to speak on big stages. I don't want to blah, blah, blah. I don't remember the exact message. But even me reading that back, I'm like, we don't know what we want until we get through it. But it's really interesting to hear you coming back to that because I can't imagine the pressure of doing what a Thrivers Live is. I mean, Oh my gosh. Oh, that makes me want to vomit. Like, I cannot even think about that. No, and, and I don't think people understand that I loved, loved, loved Thrivers Live. Oh, same. What a, again, thrill. What a thrill. Yes. But it was, it takes us over a year to plan. Thrivers Live 2022 was over a million dollars to produce. And I shared that openly on the podcast I did after that. And It, the, the stress, the pressure. Um, educators changing their minds. Educators backing out educators wanting more money at the last minute. Mm-hmm. what about the food issue? I mean the logistics and I just, it's so much, it's so much. And, and so it was my C F O who said, time out. Are you gonna become an event production company? And I was like, no, I just wanna help people. And he was like, then I don't know what you're doing. Mm-hmm. And it doesn't mean I won't ever do thriver's live again, for sure. But it means I'm like circling back to the season of like, yeah. How do I best serve? And I'm really digging in there. So one of the things that I'm really about right now is. I want, legacy is a really big thing for me. I also realize I have not been in the salon in seven years. And so I'm bringing on coaches who are still in the salon or are recently are choosing to stop taking clients to come work for us full time. Much more fresh perspective, much more hands and hair, hands and hair, and also doing things I've never done. bridal specialist, extension specialist, people who are doing things that I'm not experienced in coming in and being able to teach and educate, filling in the gaps with somebody who's, who's a stellar Tik TOK expert, like people who are coming in doing the stuff. I cannot say I'm an expert of, and that's something I've really been big on is I don't want to pretend to know something. I don't know if I don't know, I'm not going to do that. The other thing is too, is my daughter is. six weeks into her career as a stylist. Yeah. And I am geeking out over what her experience is like as a new stylist, right? That's such a cool case study for you to get it. Fascinating because it's so wildly different than what I experienced, what I thought was happening. And it's not just her, like I'm looking at her friends and like what everybody's up to. And I'm really right now looking as I always do, like. But what's next? Like, where are things going? I've said this for a while. I think there is a online education shakeup on the horizon. That's not new. I've talked about that for a few years. And so I'm staying nimble and trying to figure out where's this all going to go? And you've probably heard me say this before, like, don't get enough education. If your goal is to be an online educator, because I think the world is changing. And so I'm trying to stay nimble and flow with it and figure out, you know, are we, am I, am I doing Thrivers meetups twice a month and I'm flying and I'm meeting people twice a month? I don't know yet, but it's like trying to figure out what the next iteration looks like. I'm just kind of open and curious right now. And I know that to be true because obviously I run Stylish Soul Tribe online, but it wouldn't be what it is if it weren't for the retreat. So that's why I keep doing that because the people who have never been to a retreat, sorry to those of you, but. You are not having the same experience. It's not the same. So it's really interesting to hear you say that. There's so many directions that could go for so many different people. Um, but it's really, it's really great to hear that. So, okay. I am so incredibly grateful. It really feels good the same way you sent those flowers to, what was her name? Debra. It really feels good to have an opportunity to look you face to face, even if it's virtual and like tell you it was the first thing I thought I was like, we just need to talk about mentorship. I need a moment to like really share Who you've been to me. Um, so I just want to say thank you so much. Um, Emily and I on your team have talked. We're going to do Brit's team Thrivers, uh, is giving a 14 day free trial to the thriving stylist. So that will be in the show notes. And that just felt appropriate. If you are listening to this and you are back where I was when I was in Walmart, I literally, you guys, I did not have one. I did not have one single. Client to my name. I did not have one regular client before I found Brit, and that was probably just the timing. I'm sure I could have gotten one client on my own, but, like, Truly, the moment in time that I found you and how full force I went with your program gave me the success that I had and that has now evolved into so many different things. Um, so I just want to say thank you for that and this has been like truly a dream come true. So I love you. I love you too, and I wanna turn it back around. Like, I don't think that I, I certainly wouldn't be the person I am had I not met you, met you and mm-hmm. you know, going back through that DMM trail, which I'm gonna do after this, by the way, like it's a lot you, you've impacted me probably as much as I've impacted you. So thank you for all the lessons you've taught me. Thank you for trusting me, being so open, allowing me to just ride this journey with you. I have more faith in you now than ever before, and I'm just so proud of all that you've built and all the hearts you've touched, and you're doing important work. So keep it up. Thank you, friend.

Stylist Soul Tribe Conversations

002 - The Power of Mentorship with Britt Seva

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